Sex Resources
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Before we get started remember you can Download All My Sex guides For MEN here OR Download All My Sex guides For WOMEN here
Not every intimate moment has to be fast, intense, or goal-driven. Sometimes, what the body craves most is warmth, closeness, and stillness.
One increasingly discussed intimacy practice focuses exactly on that: cock warming — a slow, non-thrusting form of penetration centered on connection rather than climax.
If you’re curious about what cock warming is, how it differs from intercourse, and why some couples find it deeply bonding, here’s a clear and practical guide.
What Is Cock Warming?
Cock warming is a sexual practice in which one partner enters the other (vaginally, anally, or orally) and remains still, without thrusting or active movement.
Unlike traditional intercourse, this practice is not:
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Foreplay
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A pause during sex
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A build-up toward orgasm
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Performance-focused
Instead, it emphasizes:
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Physical closeness
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Emotional intimacy
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Warmth
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Calm connection
It’s often described as a more intimate extension of spooning or cuddling, but with penetration involved.
How Cock Warming Is Different From Intercourse
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The key difference is intention.
Traditional sex often follows a familiar pattern:
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Arousal
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Stimulation
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Escalation
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Orgasm
Cock warming removes the escalation.
There is:
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No thrusting
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No performance pressure
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No required climax
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No expectation to “finish”
The focus shifts from doing to simply being.
That subtle shift can dramatically change the experience.
Why Some Couples Find It Appealing
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1. Reduced Performance Pressure
Sex can sometimes feel outcome-driven. When orgasm becomes the goal, anxiety can creep in.
Cock warming eliminates that pressure. There’s nothing to achieve. Nothing to prove.
Just presence.
2. Heightened Emotional Intimacy
Stillness increases awareness. Without movement, both partners become more attuned to:
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Breathing
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Heartbeat
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Body temperature
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Subtle sensations
This can deepen feelings of closeness and bonding.
3. Soothing Physical Sensation
The experience of warmth and containment can feel grounding and calming for both partners.
For the receiving partner, being held internally can create a sense of safety and reassurance.
For the penetrating partner, the physical warmth and softness can feel comforting and steadying.
4. Slowing Down Modern Intimacy
In a culture that often emphasizes high-energy, performance-driven sex, slow intimacy can feel refreshing.
Cock warming encourages:
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Relaxation
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Mindfulness
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Sensory awareness
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Patience
It allows intimacy to exist without urgency.
More like this...
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Simmering Sexual Tension to Make Him Crave You More in Bed
Penis Massage; Complete Guide into Pleasuring Him with Your Hands
Tease Ride Please; Sexually Satisfying Him
Is Cock Warming the Same as “Soaking”?
Although the two practices may appear similar on the surface, involving penetration without thrusting, their contexts and intentions differ.
Cock warming is rooted in consensual adult exploration focused on intimacy and emotional closeness.
Its purpose is connection, not rule navigation or technical avoidance of intercourse definitions.
How to Try Cock Warming Safely
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If you’re interested in exploring this practice, preparation and communication matter.
1. Discuss It First
Consent is essential. Both partners should:
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Understand what the practice involves
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Agree that there will be no thrusting
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Feel comfortable with the pace and boundaries
Clarity prevents misunderstandings.
2. Choose a Comfortable Position
Restful positions work best, such as:
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Spooning
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Face-to-face lying down
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One partner gently resting on top of the other
The key is comfort. If the position feels strained, relaxation will be difficult.
3. Use Lubrication If Needed
Because there is no movement to naturally increase lubrication, adding a gentle lubricant can improve comfort and prevent irritation.
Comfort should always be prioritized.
4. Stay Still and Relax
Once connected:
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Slow your breathing
-
Relax your muscles
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Focus on warmth and sensation
-
Release expectations
Some couples use this as:
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A way to fall asleep
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A quiet bonding ritual
-
A post-sex intimacy extension
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A stand-alone experience
There is no required duration.
Important Considerations
-
Penetration still carries pregnancy and STI risks, even without thrusting. Use appropriate protection if needed.
-
If discomfort occurs, stop and adjust.
-
Emotional comfort is just as important as physical comfort.
Intimacy should feel safe, physically and emotionally.
The Bigger Lesson About Sexual Connection
Cock warming reflects a broader truth about satisfying sex:
Not all pleasure comes from intensity.
Sometimes, connection deepens most when movement slows and pressure disappears.
If intimacy has started to feel rushed, repetitive, or performance-based, exploring slower practices may help restore warmth and closeness.
In the end, a fulfilling sex life isn’t just about excitement.
It’s about feeling held , physically and emotionally.
Must Read
1. Foreplay Done Right; Getting Her Horny & Bothered
2. Female Orgasm 101; Preparation, Building & Delivering it
3. Alpha Male Style; Assertively Sexually Satisfying Her in Bed
4. The Art of Kissing - An Illustrated Step by Step Guide Into Kissing Techniques
5. Female Pleasure 50 Creative Naughty Sex Moves to Thrill Her
6. Backdoor; An Illustrated Guide into Safe Anal Play
7. Sexually Owning Her; From Seduction, Foreplay, Peak Arousal to Penetration Techniques
8. Cunnilingus 101; An Illustrated Guide into Eating Pussy Like a Savage
9. Size Doesn’t Matter – Get Her Off No Matter what!
10. Take Me Right Here; Making Your Woman Do Anything in Bed
11. The Male Virgin; An Illustrated Guide For First time Sex with a Woman
12. Eating Pussy Guide; Oral Sex Positions for Pleasuring a Woman
13. Fingering Her; Explicitly Illustrated Techniques to do it Right
14. Powerful Male Multi-Orgasm Masturbation Techniques
15. Crack Her Code; The Art and Craft of Sexually Driving Her Wild In Bed
16. Vagina Massage; Complete Guide into Pleasuring Her with Your Hands
17. Ultimate Sexual Stamina Program | The Blueprint to Mastering Male Ejaculation Control
18. Acquired taste; How to Eat Pussy & like it
19. Female Ejaculation; Unleash the Ultimate G-Spot Orgasm
20. Thrusting Into her Pussy | Switching Penis Angle of Entry, Stroke, Rhythm & Positioning
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Before we get started remember you can Download All My Sex guides For MEN here OR Download All My Sex guides For WOMEN here
Many couples fall into a predictable bedroom routine without realizing it. The pattern often follows the same order every time, kissing, touching, oral sex, penetration, orgasm.
It feels familiar. It feels efficient.
But over time, this scripted approach can quietly lower desire, reduce pleasure, and make intimacy feel like something to complete rather than something to enjoy.
If you want to improve your sex life, it may be time to stop riding the escalator — and start playing pinball.
What Is the “Escalator” Pattern in Sex?
The escalator pattern describes intimacy as a straight, linear progression:
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Kissing
-
Touching
-
Oral sex
-
Penetration
-
Orgasm
It assumes:
-
Penetration is the main event
-
Orgasm is the goal
-
Every encounter should follow the same order
-
Each step must lead to the next
This structure is reinforced by media, cultural messaging, and even sex education. Over time, it becomes the default.
The problem? Predictability reduces desire.
Why Predictable Sex Lowers Desire
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Sexual desire is heavily influenced by:
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Novelty
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Emotional safety
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Pleasure
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Anticipation
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Sensory engagement
When intimacy becomes routine and goal-driven, the body begins to anticipate the same outcome every time. And when the experience feels rushed or mechanical, pleasure often drops.
Desire is motivated by satisfaction. If past experiences feel neutral, uncomfortable, or unfulfilling, the brain simply stops generating excitement in advance.
That’s how sex can slowly start to feel like:
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A chore
-
An obligation
-
A performance
-
Something to “finish”
And once pleasure decreases, libido often follows.
The Overlooked Reality of Arousal
Research consistently shows:
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Around 70–75% of women do not orgasm from penetration alone
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Many women require extended stimulation, especially clitoral stimulation
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The average time needed to reach peak arousal can range from 20 to 40 minutes
When couples rush through early stages to reach penetration quickly, they often skip the very activities that support arousal — slow touch, extended kissing, teasing, oral stimulation, emotional presence.
Without adequate buildup, sex can feel underwhelming or even uncomfortable.
This mismatch between expectation and experience is one of the most common reasons for declining desire in long-term relationships.
It’s not that sex isn’t enjoyable.
It’s that the version being practiced isn’t pleasurable enough.
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What Is the Pinball Method?
The pinball method replaces linear progression with flexible movement.
Instead of moving step-by-step toward a single goal, partners “bounce” between different types of intimacy based on what feels good in the moment.
There is:
-
No hierarchy
-
No required ending
-
No fixed order
-
No pressure to escalate
Everything is optional.
Pleasure becomes the focus — not completion.
How the Pinball Method Works
Imagine intimacy as playful exploration instead of a ladder to climb.
Examples of “pinballing” include:
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Switching between kissing and massage
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Moving from oral sex back to making out
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Pausing for cuddling or laughter
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Alternating between hands, toys, grinding, or teasing
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Taking hydration or breathing breaks
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Returning to something that felt especially good earlier
Instead of thinking, “What comes next?” the question becomes:
“What feels good right now?”
This keeps both partners present instead of operating on autopilot.
Why the Pinball Method Increases Satisfaction
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Shifting from goal-oriented sex to pleasure-oriented intimacy creates several benefits:
1. Reduces Performance Pressure
When orgasm is not the finish line, anxiety decreases. Relaxation increases.
2. Encourages Communication
Flexibility requires feedback. Feedback improves pleasure.
3. Increases Novelty
Unpredictability keeps desire alive.
4. Centers Arousal
More time spent building stimulation leads to stronger, more satisfying experiences.
5. Decenters Penetration
Penetration becomes one option among many — not the default objective.
This is especially important given that many people require varied stimulation to climax.
How to Start Using the Pinball Method
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Here’s a practical approach:
Step 1: Create a “Pleasure Menu”
Write down:
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Things you enjoy
-
Things you’re curious about
-
Things you want more of
-
Things you want less of
Treat it like a menu, not a checklist.
Step 2: Remove the Finish Line
Decide in advance that penetration and orgasm are optional.
This reduces subconscious pressure to escalate.
Step 3: Stay Present
Check in with your body:
-
Is this still enjoyable?
-
Would slowing down feel better?
-
Do I want more or less intensity?
Respond to sensation instead of routine.
Step 4: Give Permission to Pause
Stopping, switching, or changing direction is not a mood killer.
It’s responsiveness.
The Big Shift: From Script to Experience
The most important change is mindset.
Scripted sex says:
-
“This is how it’s supposed to go.”
Pleasure-focused intimacy says:
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“Let’s see where this takes us.”
When creativity replaces obligation, intimacy becomes vibrant again.
Final Takeaway
If your sex life feels predictable, rushed, or less satisfying than it used to be, the structure may be the issue — not desire itself.
The escalator pattern prioritizes completion.
The pinball method prioritizes connection and sensation.
Remove the script.
Remove the pressure.
Focus on pleasure.
That’s how you create a sex life that feels alive again.
Must Read
1. Foreplay Done Right; Getting Her Horny & Bothered
2. Female Orgasm 101; Preparation, Building & Delivering it
3. Alpha Male Style; Assertively Sexually Satisfying Her in Bed
4. The Art of Kissing - An Illustrated Step by Step Guide Into Kissing Techniques
5. Female Pleasure 50 Creative Naughty Sex Moves to Thrill Her
6. Backdoor; An Illustrated Guide into Safe Anal Play
7. Sexually Owning Her; From Seduction, Foreplay, Peak Arousal to Penetration Techniques
8. Cunnilingus 101; An Illustrated Guide into Eating Pussy Like a Savage
9. Size Doesn’t Matter – Get Her Off No Matter what!
10. Take Me Right Here; Making Your Woman Do Anything in Bed
11. The Male Virgin; An Illustrated Guide For First time Sex with a Woman
12. Eating Pussy Guide; Oral Sex Positions for Pleasuring a Woman
13. Fingering Her; Explicitly Illustrated Techniques to do it Right
14. Powerful Male Multi-Orgasm Masturbation Techniques
15. Crack Her Code; The Art and Craft of Sexually Driving Her Wild In Bed
16. Vagina Massage; Complete Guide into Pleasuring Her with Your Hands
17. Ultimate Sexual Stamina Program | The Blueprint to Mastering Male Ejaculation Control
18. Acquired taste; How to Eat Pussy & like it
19. Female Ejaculation; Unleash the Ultimate G-Spot Orgasm
20. Thrusting Into her Pussy | Switching Penis Angle of Entry, Stroke, Rhythm & Positioning
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When it comes to sex positions, preferences vary widely. However, surveys and discussions about sexual satisfaction consistently show that one position divides opinion more than most: the 69 sex position.
While often portrayed as adventurous and mutually pleasurable, many adults report that it’s surprisingly difficult to enjoy in practice. If you’ve ever wondered why 69 doesn’t always live up to the hype, this guide breaks it down clearly and shows you how to improve your experience.
What Is the 69 Sex Position?
The 69 position involves two partners performing oral sex on each other simultaneously. In theory, it promises double pleasure. In reality, it introduces a challenge that many people struggle with:
Trying to give and receive pleasure at the same time.
And that’s where the problem starts.
The Core Issue: Multitasking During Intimacy
One of the biggest reasons people dislike the 69 position is simple: it splits attention.
Sexual pleasure often requires:
Focus
Relaxation
Sensory awareness
Emotional presence
When you’re concentrating on pleasing your partner, it can be hard to fully experience your own pleasure. On the flip side, when you’re trying to relax and receive stimulation, it’s difficult to stay mentally engaged in giving pleasure at the same time.
In short:
You can’t fully relax or fully focus.
This divided attention often reduces satisfaction for both partners.
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Why Many Men Struggle With 69
For many men, oral sex is most enjoyable when it’s either:
Fully focused on giving pleasure, or
Fully focused on receiving pleasure
During 69, both happen simultaneously. That can create problems such as:
Difficulty concentrating on technique
Feeling overstimulated while trying to perform
Inability to relax enough to climax
Reduced enjoyment of either role
Sexual arousal tends to work best when mental focus aligns with physical sensation. When attention is split, arousal may drop instead of build.
Why Many Women Find 69 Frustrating
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Research involving over 2,000 women found that nearly one in three listed the 69 position as their most disliked sex position. The primary reason? Lack of focus.
Common concerns include:
Difficulty concentrating on personal pleasure
Feeling distracted by performing oral sex
Inability to relax
Frustration due to reduced sexual buildup
For many women, especially those who require sustained stimulation to orgasm, mental immersion plays a huge role in satisfaction. When attention shifts constantly between giving and receiving, pleasure can feel diluted.
More like this...
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Goddess of Sex; Sexually Driving Your Man Crazy
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Penis Massage; Complete Guide into Pleasuring Him with Your Hands
Tease Ride Please; Sexually Satisfying Him
The Psychological Factor: Self-Consciousness
Another important issue is vulnerability.
The 69 position can feel physically exposing. That can trigger:
Body self-consciousness
Discomfort with close proximity
Anxiety about appearance or scent
Awkward positioning
When someone feels self-aware instead of relaxed, pleasure decreases. Sexual satisfaction thrives in comfort, not tension.
The Physical Reality
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Beyond psychology, there are practical issues:
Jaw fatigue during oral sex
Awkward neck and body angles
Height mismatches between partners
Difficulty maintaining rhythm
Physical strain makes it harder to stay aroused and connected.
Why Some People Still Love It
Despite the criticism, the 69 position isn’t “bad.” It’s simply polarizing.
It can work well when:
The focus is on sensation, not climax
Partners are comfortable with each other
There’s good communication
It’s treated as playful exploration rather than performance
When expectations shift from “we must both orgasm” to “let’s enjoy the experience,” satisfaction tends to improve.
How to Make Oral Sex More Enjoyable (With or Without 69)
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If 69 feels overwhelming, consider these practical alternatives:
1. Take Turns
One partner focuses entirely on giving, then switch. This allows:
Deeper relaxation
Better concentration
Stronger build-up
2. Communicate Clearly
Ask what feels good. Adjust pressure, speed, and rhythm. Feedback improves outcomes dramatically.
3. Remove Performance Pressure
Pleasure increases when climax isn’t the only goal. Focus on sensation and connection instead.
4. Modify the Position
Side-lying 69 can reduce strain and make the experience more relaxed compared to the traditional stacked version.
The Bigger Lesson About Sexual Satisfaction
No sex position works for everyone.
What matters most is:
Comfort
Communication
Focus
Mutual enjoyment
If something feels distracting, uncomfortable, or stressful, it’s okay to adjust or skip it. Sexual compatibility isn’t about copying what’s popular — it’s about discovering what genuinely works for you.
Final Takeaway
The 69 sex position often ranks among the most disliked sex positions not because it’s inherently flawed, but because it demands multitasking during an experience that thrives on focus.
If you struggle with it, you’re not alone. And if you enjoy it, that’s perfectly valid too.
The key to better intimacy isn’t the position, it’s attention, comfort, and clear communication.
That’s where real pleasure begins.
Must Read
1. Foreplay Done Right; Getting Her Horny & Bothered
2. Female Orgasm 101; Preparation, Building & Delivering it
3. Alpha Male Style; Assertively Sexually Satisfying Her in Bed
4. The Art of Kissing - An Illustrated Step by Step Guide Into Kissing Techniques
5. Female Pleasure 50 Creative Naughty Sex Moves to Thrill Her
6. Backdoor; An Illustrated Guide into Safe Anal Play
7. Sexually Owning Her; From Seduction, Foreplay, Peak Arousal to Penetration Techniques
8. Cunnilingus 101; An Illustrated Guide into Eating Pussy Like a Savage
9. Size Doesn’t Matter – Get Her Off No Matter what!
10. Take Me Right Here; Making Your Woman Do Anything in Bed
11. The Male Virgin; An Illustrated Guide For First time Sex with a Woman
12. Eating Pussy Guide; Oral Sex Positions for Pleasuring a Woman
13. Fingering Her; Explicitly Illustrated Techniques to do it Right
14. Powerful Male Multi-Orgasm Masturbation Techniques
15. Crack Her Code; The Art and Craft of Sexually Driving Her Wild In Bed
16. Vagina Massage; Complete Guide into Pleasuring Her with Your Hands
17. Ultimate Sexual Stamina Program | The Blueprint to Mastering Male Ejaculation Control
18. Acquired taste; How to Eat Pussy & like it
19. Female Ejaculation; Unleash the Ultimate G-Spot Orgasm
20. Thrusting Into her Pussy | Switching Penis Angle of Entry, Stroke, Rhythm & Positioning
Yes, you with the 7 inches of length. And you with the 4-inch girth. And yes you Mr. 9-inch anaconda. Even you, Tuna Can Sam!
Here's the thing about your penis: it's the only one you've got and you're the only dude that can use it. "Just right" doesn't exist - every woman and man is different and has different factors that determine what an ideal size for them might be. And even then, the person it's attached to matters far more than the size of his member. Douchebags with big dicks are still douchebags.
There's so much in this world worth stressing over, don't let your dick be a source of anxiety. Learn your size, but more importantly learn what to do with that size. A dude with a small dick and an amazing foreplay game can rock someone's world while a big dick just whaling away on every orifice it can find will just lead to disappointment for everybody involved. Sex is much more than just putting your penis inside of a warm, moist, flesh hole - it's the most intimate act two (or more!) people can engage in, treat it as such. Have fun, make your partner smile and laugh and moan and cum all over the place.
Ask yourself: if fingers, lips, and tongue can give earth-shaking pleasure to a woman, how is it possible the much larger four-inch or 10 centimeter penis can’t?
The size of your dick doesn't have an impact on whether sex will be good; it changes what good sex looks like.
Your dick size is fine and it doesn't matter what anybody else has. There will always be bigger dicks and smaller dicks, but you can't use those dicks. Get to know yours and everything you can do with it.
And bring lube.
One thing for sure is that without intimacy of some kind sooner or later your relationship will start having issues. But, maybe the fact that you are aware of your partner's limitations it could be your turn to direct your sex lives into the right direction. But to get started, these guidelines may help you:
1) Tell your partner you need to talk and decide on a time you can have an uninterrupted conversation (not while you’re getting ready for work in the morning).
2) Once you have their full attention, present the facts as clearly and non-judgmentally as you can (“We haven’t had sex when I am horny, despite the few times I’ve tried to initiate it,”. Some people might be very aware of their behavior, but others might not. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt and see how they respond before assuming they’ve been aware of their behavior and indifferent to the damage it has caused.
3) State the emotional impact their rejections have on you using "I statements" (“It makes me feel extremely unattractive and undesirable,” “I feel hurt and my self-esteem has taken a real hit,” or, “It makes me feel insecure, angry, and resentful.”). Here again, it is important to give your partner space to respond; while some may be aware of the impact of their behavior, others might not be.
4) State a clear request for change (“It isn’t fair to me and I don’t want to keep feeling like this,” “We’ve spoken about this before, you make some efforts but they don’t last. I need you to take this very seriously,” or, “I want us to discuss this honestly and find solutions together.”).
5) If your partner gets defensive or is reluctant to change, ask them to explain how they see things, what suggestions they have for making things better, or whether there are things they are upset about that are motivating their behavior.
6) Discuss specific steps you both can take to improve the situation. Do not assume all the changes have to come from your partner; they might have feelings of their own that are underlying their avoidance of sex and intimacy. Try to agree on one small step you can both take right away to signal your intention to work on this issue. A good place to start could be scheduling intimate times like for massages, not necessary detailed but some form of fulfilling touch like these vagina massage techniques and penis massage techniques
7) Request a periodic check-in to make sure any efforts or changes are maintained (“I want us to check in on this every few weeks to make sure things have improved,” or, “I would like you to take the initiative to check in with me so I know you care about whether I’m feeling better about this.”).
Good luck!
Initiate the session to request your needs
Texting can feel a bit safer and it lets you be yourself. You can text whatever comes to your mind, even if you might hesitate before saying it out loud.
And don't be above using it to initiate sex.
You could tell him "I could use a pussy massage tonight ."
The time has come, what do you actually say to make him understand you want him to give you oral sex? This takes us to the next step;
On requesting the oral sex
Try a more playful approach and tell him that you want to play a game where his challenge is to get you as wet and aroused as possible. The rules: He has immediate access to every inch of your bod, but may use only his hands and mouth to touch you. Encourage him to linger at your favorite hot spots by being vocal when he's rubbing you the right way. Once he sees the results of his efforts (a horny-as-hell girlfriend), in future he would be the one to suggest frequently.
On being comfortable in your own skin
Please know that your genitals are beautiful just the way they are. Seriously. Your boyfriend would be choosing to go down on you, so he obviously feels the same way.
If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can always try wiping down with an unscented baby wipe beforehand (but again, this isn’t necessary; you taste just great!).
Also to help you relax once he is going down on you tell your boyfriend that you’re having a hard time letting go during oral sex, and ask him to tell you what he likes about going down on you. Hearing him say, “you taste so good” or “I love the way your skin feels on my mouth” might help you feel more relaxed when he starts working his way down beneath the covers.
I’d also suggest gently requesting that he stop asking the dreaded “what do you want me to do?” question. I don’t think there’s any other question more universally despised during sex! Tell him, “when you ask me that question, it just sends me up in my head and makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.”
Suggest trying the A/B testing method together, or come up with sneaky ways to let him know that he’s on the right track (for example, you’ll pull his hair when you want more pressure, or you’ll stroke his shoulder when you want him to go slower).
Have your boyfriend try two different licking techniques (like side to side, then up and down), then tell him which one feels better. Then have him try two different levels of pressure, or two different speeds. Picking one option out of two is a lot easier and less intimidating than trying to come up with your own instructions out of thin air!
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This is frustrating. Not your situation, mine. Because now I have to write the phrase that will destroy the thesis of many people online who desperately want to believe that I am - to use their whimsical turn of phrase - “an irrational man-hating feminazi.” And I truly hate to disappoint. But I must. So here we go:
This isn’t men’s fault.
Like many people who have sex with men, you have discovered the odd little quirk in men’s physicality which can cause them to physically power-down after sex, leaving many a disgruntled partner fuming beside a man now happily snoring in post-orgasmic bliss - or as in your case, a man now happily awake but sexually disinterested in post-orgasmic bliss.
Following orgasm, men experience a refractory period, which is the recovery phase during which it is physically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms. During this time, the penis may be sensitive and further sexual stimulation may actually be painful, which is why men shouldn’t keep trying to have penetrative sex after orgasm, as they could cause themselves injury. (Having sex post-ejaculation is also dangerous if condoms are your primary or sole form of contraception, as they could leak or break.)
It’s thus wise for a man to not have any sexual stimulation immediately after orgasm, and luckily for them, there are a multitude of chemicals helping to make it easier for him to power-down and roll away from you, no matter how irresistible you were mere moments before.
Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.
Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than orgasms from masturbation, which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating.
Oxytocin and vasopressin, two other chemicals released during orgasm, are also associated with sleep. Oxytocin, which is commonly known as “the bonding chemical” or “love hormone” as women experience it both after sex and during maternal activities such as childbirth and breast-feeding, can also cause relaxation in men, again contributing to the contentedly unaroused state after ejaculation.
Now, that’s the chemical side, let’s talk about communication. Listen and understand when he tells you what his physical and emotional limits are around sex, and why you you shouldn't be tying up your pleasure in his orgasm.
This could mean ensuring you orgasm through other activities, and suggesting that you orgasm before he does, this will show that he respects and cares about your needs and pleasure.
Don't impose a somewhat arbitrary order of events onto your sex life, where you feel like he should orgasm before you do - or that if you want an orgasm after he ejaculates, he has to give it to you.
Because of the cultural prioritizing of male pleasure over women’s pleasure, many women feel pressure to bring their male partners to orgasm, and won’t relax or focus on their own pleasure before fulfilling this “duty.” This is gendered nonsense. But you should also know that masturbation can be a wonderful part of sex, and that if your boyfriend needs a rest after ejaculating and you are close to orgasm or want another one, masturbating beside him can be a wonderful and fun part of your sex life.
You have a man with natural physical limits. Respect him, and enjoy it.
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A study found that the longer men spend licking a woman’s vagina, the greater the volume of sperm they produce per ejaculation.
In other words, men shoot a bigger load as a by-product of going down on a gal.
Therefore, they also have a better chance of impregnating her.
It makes sense that our prehistoric ancestors might have developed an affinity for “dining on the Y” as there were evolutionary benefits to doing so.
Those who performed the most cunnilingus most successfully passed on their genes.
Also vaginal pheromones give men more sexual stamina.
Another study found evidence that when a man smells a woman’s vaginal scents, his testosterone levels increase.
Olfactory stimulation occurring during cunnilingus is…rewarding to the male, e.g., acting as a releaser semiochemical that enhance men’s sexual stamina.
In short, giving a gal head enables a guy to have better erections and last longer in bed.
Yet another reason why our human ancestors were drawn to cunnilingus — and why men today still love going down on women.
In ancient times, women who suffered from anxiety, depression and sudden mood swings were sent to the doctor. After an "examination", it was concluded that they suffered from "female hysteria".
To help combat this disease, a series of treatments were created, including "pelvic massage", with the aim of achieving what was then called "pelvic paroxysm", i.e. an orgasm.
Soon the treatment became popular and so many women went to the doctor to receive this treatment that a special device had to be created.
This artifact emitted rhythmic vibrations and massages, and in the beginning, well-to-do women or women from good families kept them in their homes in case an "episode of hysteria" occurred.
This is how one of the first vibrators in history was created. A device that is still used today and that has clearly taken on a purely sexual connotation.
It is interesting how the vibrator emerged from an apparent disease and how the treatment quickly became popular.
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Men feel spontaneous desire, which causes arousal. We all understand that, and unfortunately, we have assumed that women are, or should be, the same way. Recent studies have found that this is not the norm for all women, with many never experiencing desire first, and others only feeling desire before arousal some of the time. Please understand this – for many (maybe most) women, desire is triggered by arousal, not the other way around.
What this means is it is normal for a woman rarely or never to feel desire or a “sex drive” apart from sexual activity. For many the norm is for foreplay to start arousal, with that arousal resulting in feeling desire. Now, do you understand why foreplay is a must for women?
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